Who's your Mordecai?

As a little kid, my grandad would share scripture with me about Esther (how many times I’d roll my eyes and not appreciate the wisdom he was trying to impart in my thick head! Lol) He’d share how Esther won a beauty contest, married a king, lived in a palace, uncovered a plot to exterminate the Jewish people and then saved them. Her story showed the importance of being in the right place, and being influenced by the right people. My grandad always said that where you are today is no accident. Mordecai, Esther’s mentor, challenged her and changed her life by saying, “Who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14) Esther didn’t set out to be queen, but once she was, she had to decide between her comfort and her calling. It’s a choice we all make everyday whether we realize it or not. Grandad would also say that special people are sent to guide each of us. Without Mordecai in her life Esther might never have understood her calling. And without his help she might never have embraced it either. My grandad would always ask me, “who’s your Mordecai, Romi? Who knows you well enough to help clarify your calling? Who loves you enough to challenge you when you get off track, or strengthens you when you want to quit and turn back?” Of course my Mordecai was my grandad, but I was too young at the time to realize and fully appreciate that!

Today, I can't readily say who my Mordecai is. I've been praying for the last 2 + years for God to reveal that person to me, but to no avail. Either the people I've asked are too busy, don't want to make the commitment, or don't take the role of mentoring seriously. I have to admit it's been discouraging and causes me to wrestle with several questions: Does anyone think I'm really worth the time and effort? Am I expecting someone I'll never find? Am I completely unrealistic and missing the forest for the trees? What am I missing?? Maybe because mentoring others is second nature to me and something I deeply enjoy, I assume there are others willing to do the same for me. I mean after all not one of us is a composite of all of life's virtues; we all have blind spots and weaknesses. That's why we need others to speak and invest into our lives, right?? So why is it so hard to find people that care enough to do so?