Public Enemy #1

Well, that would be me, but let me explain...
Maya Angelou once wrote, “I am a woman, Phenomenally, Phenomenal woman that’s me.” Growing up, I often wondered what being that phenomenal woman would feel like and if I would be comfortable standing in the center of the spotlight (still not my comfort zone by a long shot!) Lately, I've been thinking if I miss out on a lot of opportunities based on my believing something is impossible or if my own insecurities and fears are holding me back. Time and again I realize I'm sometimes my own worst enemy, hence my title!

Childhood self doubts, insecurities and criticisms creep into my adult mind especially since a part of me still believes those subliminal messages are true. I strive to remain positive but sometimes in a moment of vulnerability a past heartbreak, pain or disappointment resurfaces and rattles the foundation of my self confidence. I could say that I don’t worry and I am always on top of my game but that would be my ego speaking and not the true feelings of my heart. Honestly, I can't tell you the number of times I've questioned if I'm good enough just as much as if I've doubted if I'm the right person for a job, relationship or particular opportunity. It's really mind boggling that even though I do experience some success, I still challenge the person in the mirror when I'm uneasy with the image that I see.

Slowly but surely, I've discovered that happiness must precede success because in loving who I am the road to prosperity soon follows. We are all phenomenal women who must embrace ourselves and learn that being imperfect shapes our unique personalities. Here are two quotes that are good reminders for me (and hopefully for you as well)...

1. "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want".
Failure and disappointment are not bad things. It's how we learn what we want, what we are good at but, most important, what is important to us. I consider none of this time wasted. I needed to go there in order to get to today.

2. "Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be".
It's a daily reminder to take a chance. I'm not talking about jumping out of an airplane or anything crazy like that. It's just a reminder to push myself out of my comfort zone, even if it's just a tiny step. It's simple physics really- we need some kind of tension to propel us forward. Otherwise we stay static and never go anywhere and like Gary Haugen says (http://www.ijm.org/), we stay stuck in the visitors center!