Happy Monday and crack me up silly!

These were too, too funny....the most ridiculous excuses for missing work! I still can't believe people actually think their bosses would believe them! Seriously, is this as inventive as people get!?? lol

The results come from careerbuilder. Thirty-one percent of the employers surveyed said they follow up with employees who call in sick, some require doctor's notes, others check in by calling, and a creepy percentage drives by the employee's home (eeewww, that's a bit over the top wouldn't you say?) Employers reported the most unusual responses which are below. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but really, most of these are ridiculous:

Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike. (I'm still cracking up over this one!)
Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now."
Employee donated too much blood.
Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
Employee was kicked by a deer. (After I was all better from the heart attack I had that morning, I still went into work despite the assault from the deer. Why can't there be more people like me? True martyrs! lol)
Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work. (Someone didn't pick up after himself now did he! Oh how many times I've been tempted to do this! ; )
Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.

So which one(s) do you think are the worst or best excuses?